If we simplify the equation down into two parts, we have the choice to either do something, or not do something. We all do this so effortlessly, that perhaps we forget that we actually have this responsibility to ourselves. The difference however, lies in what comes next. From the action or lack thereof, we can either learn from it or choose to be ignorant.

So combining these two rules, we get four unique permutations; 1. Do and learn. 2. Do and don’t learn. 3. Don’t and learn. 4. Don’t and don’t learn.

There’s no right or wrong way to approach each situation, but you do have the option of at least the four choices above. It’s up to you to decide which one you do, but personally I’d avoid numbers 2, 3 and 4 whenever possible. The only situation where number 3 would come in handy, is if you’ve already done number 1. And I can’t for the life of me think of a situation where I’d want to not learn from a choice that I’ve made, which places 2 and 4 into the lazy pile.

Sometimes I struggle with the tools that we’ve been given to simplify and complicate our understanding of life. Often I wonder if I’m using a screwdriver to hammer in a nail.

The photography classes that I was arranging fell by the wayside. Regardless, I continued with the theme of ‘Hidden Beauty’ and the compositional element of ‘Filling the Frame’. I chose to Do and Learn. I did the photo assignment and learnt about brush strokes. I put the Peanut Butter in my cereal and learnt that every bowl of cereal from this day onwards, will always contain this amazing breakfast bowl ingredient.

I understand the need to believe in yourself, but why should it dominate the judgement of the people around you.

At a guess, I’d say it was just a force of habit, through years of practice of judging yourself on a never ending basis. So when it comes to forming ideas about other people, the easy path is always available. But to try to come to terms with the simple idea that someone else believes different to you, takes a lot more energy.

I’m considering a tattoo, made up of all different pieces that I will construct over the years, constantly growing into something more solid and wise. Each piece will be a lesson that goes up to make the belief system that I choose to subscribe to, as opposed to the one that was necessarily dealt out.

I don’t want you to subscribe to anything I do or believe, but I do want to hear about how you run things in your part of town. I went shopping in mine today, hence the ‘shopping spree’ images.

The first; is to see how long you can survive in the concrete jungle without tutting, frowning or kicking anyone in the heels as they cut you up through the sea of human traffic. Thankfully, there are strategically placed power ups along the way; 90% in the shape of amusing advertisements. These can usually distract you long enough to make you forget that you care about something you shouldn’t. The remaining 10% are presented in the form of human interactions… these are the really good ones which can save you from the most stressful of levels – they’re definitely out there, I saw them myself, but you just have to stop looking at the floor and the adverts and you’ll find them.

The other; is to try to not think about other people’s lives. I’m shit at this game. Robert Winston says that one of the most stressful things you can do is to walk into a room full of people. The number of judgements that we make towards others seems proportionate to the number of people we have in our field of vision, and the number of judgements we make about a single person is phenomenal in the first place. So when you’re walking round a Big City, where people are bursting at the seams trying to grasp at the floating pieces of identity that are lost in the vanilla ocean of existence… well… it all seems to just add to the importance of being able to be good at this contest. You’ll notice that lots of the characters in the game has discovered sunglasses in order to create a sort of invincibility for the duration that their eyes are hidden; personally, I’ve never liked using cheat codes since Action Replay decided to Poke around inside 8-bit consoles. So, with the midday sun threatening to burn a new hole in my retinas, and the impact of the other contestants becoming stronger; I buckled to the comfort of a Brighton bound train, stuck next to the fat 50 year old business man, spilling the high end of his shitty-disco music from his tacky iPod headphones and drumming along with his fat fingers and his fat smile. It reminded me that I need to get better at this game; that or I need to get some sunglasses.

1. It’s not 100% original
2. I may not be legally allowed to claim complete copyright to my work
3. I rely on hashing together other people’s styles to create my own
4. I inevitably make compromises when choosing between images that exist in the stock.xchng library.

My skills as a photographer are more than competent to create textures that are equally as good, or better than any I could find on a free stock photography site. So today armed with my camera and a hangover, I did a texture shoot around Brighton. I look forward to one day having a vast collection of my own images to use, but for now… here are the results:

Adrenaline… can we come to some sort of arrangement, where you tell me that you want some exercise, and I get the leash that’s hanging by the front door and run around the park with you? It’s just that if you come out while we’re having a nice meal at a restaurant… well, it sort of spoils the mood for me. And today, all I wanted was a nice walk in the park and to sit down and read a book. It seems like you had other plans. Or were you sleeping, and someone trod on your tail? Well, I’m sorry about that, but there are better things to bark at, I promise you.

Maybe you want me to dangle myself off a cliff a bit more often? I could swing from treetops, dodge traffic or run barefoot through a crack den. Would that be exciting enough for you? Living life on the edge could be the answer. But that’s a bit too close to death for me right now. If only I could give you some kind of emotional pager, and beep you every time I’m in need. In fact, when was the last time I really needed you? There was that fight I got into in 2005… but… wasn’t it you that started that in the first place? Who knows, perhaps you’d been listening to alcohol for too long. You guys should definitely stop hanging out.

So I suggest a compromise. Give me warning in future. Any kind of warning. Tear up one of my favourite shoes. Give me the sad eye/whining combination. Go to the bathroom in my closet… anything… just give me some kind of sign. Once you do that, we can work something out. I’ll listen to you and we can work better together as a team.

Yours sincerely,

Consciousness.

Yesterday, I decided that there was no such thing as random. I stole the idea from the book Dermaphoria by Craig Clevenger, and randomly applied it to a thought provoking idea about the creation of life on earth. Was creation just a happy accident? I doubt it. It seems to me that the most comforting ideas we have about life are the ones which are probably not true at all. Especially the vast quantity of those which revolve around the idea that Man thinks that He is the centre of the universe.

It’s not comforting thinking that the we probably don’t understand anything that’s going on in this world. But also paradoxically one of the only things we probably do know.

With that in mind, I made this picture. I don’t claim that it means anything, and it’s certainly not random. It’s a picture, from me to you.

“Of course. We are cursed to only ever see the world through our own eyes. So we end up thinking we’re special, because that’s all we ever know.”

“But if everyone thinks they are special, doesn’t that make us all the same, and therefore not special?”

“Yep.”

“So does that mean I’m not special?”

“We are all special to someone, just not to everyone.”

What follows is the result of a tuna sandwich powered journey to London.