The premise of the lecture was that through audience participation, we were to vote on whether this renowned(?) designer was a ‘Genius or Wanker’. At the end, a public ballot was held to determine the outcome, by holding up a piece of paper with the respective word on it. More than half of the people voted for the more positive outcome of Genius, but it didn’t seem to match with how he presented himself during this interview.

One of the topics that was discussed was a recent verbal slaughtering that he had received on an online forum. I kind of agreed with what he was saying; about how people might use such an anonymous form of communication to express themselves in a harsh and judgemental way. But would he be complaining about the conduit if someone praised him highly on the very same website? I doubt it, and it seems silly to dismiss the validity of a comment based on how it affects you on a personal level.

So it seems that it’s frowned upon to make negative comments towards an individual. Even if the negative comments are intended to be honest communication. I’ve seen this censorship occur in the absence of the facebook dislike button; where a website will choose to restrict people’s methods of communication (for whatever reasons, I can only speculate).

Jumping back to the present, in this open well lit lecture hall, where work colleagues sit next to each other discussing their vote at the end of  this semi-contrived social experiment. In light of the presumed social stigma of making a negative comment, how are these people expected to make an unbiased vote on this persons character?

Throughout the lecture, I developed the impression that the person we were scrutinising was no more than a regular guy, with strengths and flaws just like anyone else. The thing that did seem to set him apart though, was his desire to repeatedly contradict himself when trying to satisfy the audiences not-so-well thought out questions. We all live with contradictory aspects of our character, but he didn’t seem like he was able to present that to the audience. Without a shovel in sight, he dug his own hole by trying to appease other people. Instead of acceptance, there seemed to be a big dirt pile of denial. Not the kind of person I would say that I admire in any industry.

My Genius idea would be to stage a recount in a completely unbiased environment. I want to believe that the outcome of the vote would be different. But maybe the part of me that’s saying that is just a complete and utter Wanker.

Despite not being published yet, it cannot and will not change. This is the story of my life, and one which I will perform faithfully, down to the very last act.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the empty space on the shelf, wishing that it was there for reference. I would flip my fingers through it’s unbent pages, find the chapter that I’m on, and take my cue as to what to do next.

Perhaps if this book was real, I would find myself at this point, in a rather unfortunate loop; “He looks up the page number, and discovers that he is reading the book of his own life, in order to discover that the next thing that he will do is look up the page number to discover that he is reading the book of his own life, in order to…”. So perhaps it’s a good thing that this book doesn’t exist yet.

There were a series of books that existed when I was young, where you could choose your own adventure by making decisions throughout the story, flipping back and forth between numbered pages, which somehow always seemed to end unfairly with the demise of my character. I could always trace back my steps to find the turning point which caused me to be beheaded or trapped in a dungeon for eternity. Then, as long as I convinced myself that it was morally ok to do so, make the opposite decision and survive for another few pages until I was eaten by a dragon, and so forth.

Life never seemed to pan out like it did in these books. Not once have I encountered a demon and been given the opportunity to run or fight it, and neither have I ever had the opportunity to just ‘go back a few pages’ and try out a different path.

There is comfort in knowing that the book of your life will never change. No matter how much you struggle against the pull of your own destiny, the choices you make will always be the choices that you make. However, there is one thing that you can do to affect the outcome of your own personal bible; Choose more.

The people who increase the number of choices that they make each day, will have to make a little extra space on their bookshelf to fit their 17 volume lifespan. Those who decide not to decide, may have to arrange theirs neatly in between a Mr Men book and a pizza takeaway leaflet.