Despite not being published yet, it cannot and will not change. This is the story of my life, and one which I will perform faithfully, down to the very last act.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the empty space on the shelf, wishing that it was there for reference. I would flip my fingers through it’s unbent pages, find the chapter that I’m on, and take my cue as to what to do next.

Perhaps if this book was real, I would find myself at this point, in a rather unfortunate loop; “He looks up the page number, and discovers that he is reading the book of his own life, in order to discover that the next thing that he will do is look up the page number to discover that he is reading the book of his own life, in order to…”. So perhaps it’s a good thing that this book doesn’t exist yet.

There were a series of books that existed when I was young, where you could choose your own adventure by making decisions throughout the story, flipping back and forth between numbered pages, which somehow always seemed to end unfairly with the demise of my character. I could always trace back my steps to find the turning point which caused me to be beheaded or trapped in a dungeon for eternity. Then, as long as I convinced myself that it was morally ok to do so, make the opposite decision and survive for another few pages until I was eaten by a dragon, and so forth.

Life never seemed to pan out like it did in these books. Not once have I encountered a demon and been given the opportunity to run or fight it, and neither have I ever had the opportunity to just ‘go back a few pages’ and try out a different path.

There is comfort in knowing that the book of your life will never change. No matter how much you struggle against the pull of your own destiny, the choices you make will always be the choices that you make. However, there is one thing that you can do to affect the outcome of your own personal bible; Choose more.

The people who increase the number of choices that they make each day, will have to make a little extra space on their bookshelf to fit their 17 volume lifespan. Those who decide not to decide, may have to arrange theirs neatly in between a Mr Men book and a pizza takeaway leaflet.

I suspect this is a knock on effect on the way our particles work at a subatomic level, how either something will exist in a particular state, or it doesn’t exist. But then if research into quantum physics points to an alternative suggestion, where the world of binary results doesn’t necessarily apply, then maybe the way we look every day interactions should be changing too.

If someone was to ask me if I preferred the bitter salty taste of olives over a delicious Snickers bar, my answer would be a resounding no. But my binary response would fall flat on it’s face if that person then brought me a seafood pizza covered with small chunks of peanuts, chocolate and caramel…. “What?! I thought you didn’t like olives”.

I really do hate olives, I find them repulsive… but if I was to choose between a sandwich made with either plain or olive ciabatta bread, then I’d probably choose the latter. If we choose to live in a binary world, this makes me a hypocrite… but in a world where multiple contradictory statements exist in parallel, I’m just as normal as anyone else.

I wonder if it’s easier for us to manage ourselves, if we can categorise everything we think into tidy little packages… or if it’s easier for us to interact with the outside world if we present a consistent and predictable character to the people we meet?

If life for you, is a quest to define yourself as a person, remember that we aren’t always just one thing. We’re a big crazy bowl of Atomic Soup, which responds to the constantly changing environment. It changes, you change.

Sometimes I have to tell myself that it’s OK to have a love/hate relationship with olives, depending on how I feel at the time; I’ll either eat them, or start a protest march to facilitate the plants demise.