Uncontrollable and irrational adrenaline. I don’t miss you when you’re gone, so why turn up in the first place? If it’s to protect me, I think you need to stop and look around. What kind of situation am I in where I need protecting? Perhaps you’re just bored and haven’t been out in a while, so you need to take a walk every now and then…. stretch your legs.

Adrenaline… can we come to some sort of arrangement, where you tell me that you want some exercise, and I get the leash that’s hanging by the front door and run around the park with you? It’s just that if you come out while we’re having a nice meal at a restaurant… well, it sort of spoils the mood for me. And today, all I wanted was a nice walk in the park and to sit down and read a book. It seems like you had other plans. Or were you sleeping, and someone trod on your tail? Well, I’m sorry about that, but there are better things to bark at, I promise you.

Maybe you want me to dangle myself off a cliff a bit more often? I could swing from treetops, dodge traffic or run barefoot through a crack den. Would that be exciting enough for you? Living life on the edge could be the answer. But that’s a bit too close to death for me right now. If only I could give you some kind of emotional pager, and beep you every time I’m in need. In fact, when was the last time I really needed you? There was that fight I got into in 2005… but… wasn’t it you that started that in the first place? Who knows, perhaps you’d been listening to alcohol for too long. You guys should definitely stop hanging out.

So I suggest a compromise. Give me warning in future. Any kind of warning. Tear up one of my favourite shoes. Give me the sad eye/whining combination. Go to the bathroom in my closet… anything… just give me some kind of sign. Once you do that, we can work something out. I’ll listen to you and we can work better together as a team.

Yours sincerely,

Consciousness.